Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Do you REALLY Want to F*ck Every Girl In The World? (L'Daialogue Article from


“If you could, would you really want to have sex with EVERY girl in the world?”

This is how the whole thing started.

One day I was on Twitter and I was scrolling down a very long list of replies between my friends. I saw a very interesting discussion started by my homegirl StilettoJill that seemed to be engaging judging by the sheer volume of replies she was receiving.

The subject was concerning one of the hottest songs out right now by the Young Money collective featuring Lil’ Wayne, Drake, Jae Millz, Gudda Gudda and Mack Maine entitled “Every Girl.” She was only asking one question.

“If you could, would you really want to have sex with EVERY girl in the world?”

I read the question. I read it twice. I gave it probably the same amount of time that any man would do and replied with an immediate “yes”. But, this was before I grasped the intent of the question.

She wrote me immediately and said “But think about it…EVERY girl in the world?” Then, I thought about the sheer amount of weight that term “EVERY” could carry. It took me back.

I could remember a time when I was a pre-teen and finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life. Other than music and drawing, girls took up the majority of my time. Plus, I could only stand under 2nd floor stairs copping a peek at random girls underwear for so long. It had to be a smarter way to do this without (a.) going to the principal’s office daily or (b.) going to jail.

After some long thought, I came up with an idea. I sat my mother down and told her my bright idea. I wanted a be a gynecologist. I figured that she recognized why her first born son decided that his life’s work will be the examinations of women’s vaginas. She wasn’t slow.

First, she looked at me crazy as any mother would. Then she paused and said sarcastically,”That’s fine if that’s REALLY what you want to do with your life. But you do know that you have to look at ALL women’s vaginas. Not just the pretty girls.” Then, she started giggling. I didn’t get the joke at first.

Then, it came to me.

All I could think of was of 12 hour days with a barrage 60-year old hairless womb-having senior citizens or a plus-plus-plus size woman that made you second guess that she even had a region below her belt. I’m not even counting the women that was just unattractive to begin with. Man, with odds like my mama alluded to, the Lauren Londons and Halle Berry’s I was dreaming of would be few and far in between.

And that brings me back to my point. Women are God’s greatest gift to the world and were made in plenty shapes and sizes to accommodate the imagination of every man. But, would you really have sex with EVERY girl in the world?

After thinking about the options (and TRULY thinking about all of the options), Lil’ Weezy and company is only giving a small part of the story. I am straight on ALL of the women in the world. I mean minus the lies, diseases and natural “ugly” (inner and outter) that comes with most of these women..I reiterate, I AM STRAIGHT!

For now, I wil focus on this club I’m going to tonight and fantasize with a mental condom because thinking like that could get you caught up easy. Yes, the Young Money song is good to listen to but the practical application is far from something I want to do.


Young Money- Every Girl feat. Lil' Wayne, Drake, Jae Millz, Gudda Gudda & Mack Maine

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