(Disclaimer: This isn't an indictment on United Airlines as a whole but only my experience. And with that...them succas still get a middle finger, homey.)
So yesterday I'm hoping a flight out from L.A. to Memphis and this is usually a no-nonsense flight seeing that Memphis is Northwest' hub city. But, I went through hell and unlike myself I kept my composure (sort of)...
I got to my flight in the early morning at LAX and my ticket said U.S. Airways so I'm thinking my flight is on U.S. Airways. In a normal world, this would be true. I soon found out that it wasn't.
The lady at the counter tells me that my flight was on United as it was only 15 minutes to depart. So, I Carl Lewis-it about a mile in a half in track star fashion only to have the lady at United say that the flight already departed.
Then, I had to wait in a line with all of the other losers that haven't even booked a flight and check out what the lady says:
Lady- Okay, so did you miss your flight?
Me- (thinking "Is that written on my face, lady?")Yeah, I need another flight to Memphis. On my itenerary, it says U.S. Airways and then I get to the counter and they say United. What's up?
Lady- Well, we book flights for each other. I'm sorry for the mix up.
Me- What??? (here's where the expletives come into play) So, when I go to McDonald's, I should expect a Big Mac? What kind of stuff is that?
Lady- I'm sorry, sir...here's your tickets. I will put you on a priority flight to Memphis.
After that, I go through the check portion and security dude keep looking at me funny. I'm thinking, "Maybe he's trying to insure the safety of all passengers and taking the extra precaution of looking at my ID."
The girl tells me that I was selected to be searched. How was I
SELECTED? I didn't ask for them people to rub between my legs and not even offer me some money for it.
So, after they snatch out my Roland mixboard and my SP-404...the officer was like "You must be a producer or something, right?" I was like, "Yeah, something like that" as I walked to catch my already late flight.
But, even as I waited...I saw my boy Bryon (what up mane?) and slid him one of the hundreds of Bluff City Daialogue joints I had that the officers didn't search. So, I was still enterprising even as I was being profiled.
So, after all that....ya' boy is back in the city mane. If you're out this way, get at me mane. The king is home...and will be in the studio on vacay. Get at me.